MAITENGWE WEEKEND TRENDING STORIES: Mpape is back and Temu president is shaking

By Yours Truly
We are back again with the stories that shook timelines, rattled WhatsApp groups, and gave Zimbabwe content creators fresh oxygen.
After two years on what he termed a political Sabbath, Mpape resurfaced this week and casually dropped a bombshell: “I am coming back because no one filled the vacuum.”
That statement is 1000% correct. Mpape is back in politics ...

Zimbabwe needs Mpape.
Not because of goals, but because when Mpape was on the pitch, Zimbabwe Saints was organised, united, and alert.
Now?
They’ve been playing alone, taking people for granted, mistaking silence for dominance.
Mpape may have missed the trophy twice, yes but every time he showed up, the game had structure. The dressing room had discipline. The ruling elites had sleepless nights.
Today?
It’s vibes, confusion, and Temu-level leadership.
Of course, critics are already sharpening knives:
“Mpape is coming back for Paper Three after failing twice.”
Maybe.
But maybe this time he crosses the line especially if Zimbabwe Saints decide to make that ‘Temu President Adonija Mabhurugwa’ the team captain.
He is no match for Wamba.
And about that 2030 chorus?
There’s resistance. Quiet resistance. Even inside Zimbabwe Saints, many don’t subscribe to it. That alone might force serious introspection or at least a panic meeting with bad tea.
But here’s the real headline:
Mpape’s return has resurrected the creative industry.
Poets are typing again.
Composition writers are breathing.
Content creators are working overtime. Key board warriors are getting the likes.
TEMU DRAMA & THE SILENT VICE CAPTAIN
Funny enough, while Mpape was trending, other TEMU Doctors and Temu presidents were busy fighting, each other last week, press conferences, subtweets, shade, and counter-shade, cancelled rallies.
And the man believed to be the price of all this infighting?
The Vice Captain.
Silent. Quiet. Observing. Letting children fight over toys.
Your Truly is reliably informed that VaKodza, the Team Captain, cut short his leave to coordinate relief efforts for the devastating floods affecting Mozambique, Zimbabwe, and Malawi.
???? Bravo, Your Excellency.
Now, theories are flying faster than mosquitoes after rain:
Some say he returned because of the floods and others whisper that he came back to steady a rocking ship full of internal fights.
Either way leadership is leadership.
When the ship shakes, the captain must appear on deck.
BULAWAYO
Now, let’s leave Harare drama and go to KoBulawayo, where tragedy struck.
Maitengwe Post received heartbreaking news of a 16-year-old girl from Nguboyenja who allegedly took her own life after realizing she had failed her O-Level examinations.
???? So painful. So unnecessary. So preventable.
Parents and guardians , let’s talk.
Are we not pressurising our children too much?
Extra lessons during holidays. Extra lessons on weekends. Extra expectations. Zero breathing space.
Have we told them that failing O-Level is not failing life?
Have we reminded them there is always a second chance?
These Ama2K kids are not like us.
They need 21st-century parenting, not 1980s punishment manuals.
????️ Rest in Peace, Nkazana.
Parents , talk to your children before results come out. Tell them: “Whatever happens, you are still enough.”
GURUVE
From Guruve, police confirmed that victims in a chilling case are now 25, raising questions about whether the alleged killer’s younger brother to the devil , Chitswa, acted alone.
Sad.
SOUTH AFRICA ON THE EDGE: MALEMA & THE GUN
Across the Limpopo, South Africa held its breath as the firebrand opposition leader appeared in court for pre-sentencing over the 2018 firearm discharge incident during EFF celebrations.
Some want him jailed.
Some smell political assassination.
The case was postponed to 15 April, keeping South Africa firmly on edge.
Yes, the court found him guilty in December.
But sentencing is never just about the act. It’s about what the act means.
The law allows up to 15 years.
But courts don’t calculate, they balance.
If Malema gets more than 12 months:
• He loses his parliamentary seat
• He’s barred from office for five years
• The EFF is politically decapitated overnight
Most likely outcome?
Punishment without political detonation , a suspended or lighter sentence.
In April the court will not be just sentencing a man.
It will be negotiating justice vs stability.
INDIA: LOVE, BIRYANI & MURDER
Who said only sadza eaters kill for love?
In Andhra Pradesh, a man’s last meal was biryani spiced with 20 sleeping pills.
The wife, assisted by her lover, fed him dinner, waited for him to pass out, then finished the job with suffocation. She cried “heart attack” the next morning , but autopsy doesn’t lie.
Lesson:
If your biryani tastes too good… ask questions.
MANÉ & SENEGAL
Lastly, football restored faith in divine justice as Sadio Mané and Senegal defeated the Deputy Europeans in a tense match where some fans swear referees had EcoCash notifications buzzing.
But the God of football intervened.
Justice delivered. No VAR needed.
LESSON OF THE WEEK
• Failing exams is not failing life.
• Love without conscience kills.
• And above all…
???? Welcome back, Mpape. At least now Zimbabwe Saints can stop doing madiro and return to the game.
Stay calm.
Stay focused.
Stay entertained.
Asante Sana.