Maitengwe Weekend Trending Stories: From CAB3 to CAB4 to Monarch

Welcome once again to Maitengwe Weekend Trending Stories, with yours truly!
We begin on a heartbreaking note.
Harare was shaken by the death of a Grade 7 pupil from St John's Preparatory School for Boys. The school confirmed his passing and offered condolences to his family, friends and the entire school community.
Reports circulating on social media claim the boy had disagreed with his parents over his choice of Form One school. It has also been widely reported that a firearm from the family home was involved. Authorities are expected to establish the full circumstances.
Life is precious. Sometimes the problems that seem impossible today become tomorrow's stories of victory. Let's continue to look after one another and check in on our children.
Holy Ten Finds Himself in Court
Now to entertainment—well... courtainment. Holy Hip Hop star Holy Ten, whose real name is Mukudzeyi Chitsama, appeared before a Harare magistrate facing a rape charge involving a 14-year-old girl. He denies the allegations.
The court granted him US$500 bail after the State did not oppose it. The matter returns to court on August 7. As always, remember that allegations remain allegations until proven in court.

July 31 Demonstrations: The Protest That Wasn't
Now let's talk politics. The much-talked-about July 31 demonstrations finally arrived......and then politely forgot to happen.
Depending on who you ask, this was either a spectacular government victory or a masterclass by the organisers.
Here's our scorecard:
• The organisers lost because there were no demonstrations.
• The organisers won because the government mobilised massive security resources.
• The government won because there were no protests.
• The government also lost because preparing for something that never happened isn't exactly cheap. In the end, everyone declared victory.
Zimbabweans, meanwhile, simply woke up, went to work, bought tomatoes and wondered what all the excitement had been about.
Only in Zimbabwe can everyone win and lose at exactly the same time!
The Ndolwane Tikoloshe Is Apparently Working Overtime
Now for the story that has everyone in Plumtree scratching more than just their heads. Reports reaching this publication claim that learners at Ndolwane Primary School have allegedly been troubled by what villagers believe is a mysterious tikoloshe.
Traditional leaders, spiritual churches and other local figures are reportedly trying to understand the situation, but at the time of writing, the invisible visitor remains... well... invisible.
Maybe it's time for yours truly to pack a Bible, a camera and enough courage for three people. If the tikoloshe agrees to an interview, we'll bring you the exclusive.
If not... we'll report from a safe distance.
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Coming Soon: Constitution Amendment Number... We Have Lost Count!
And before we sign off...
Brace yourselves.
The political conversation is already shifting toward yet another constitutional amendment.
As if CAB 3 wasn't enough to keep everyone busy, new voices are beginning to suggest even bigger changes. One former bishop even suggested Zimbabwe should become a monarchy.
Yes... a monarchy.
At this rate, don't be surprised if next year's elections include a category for King of Zimbabwe. Zimbabwean politics never sleeps. It only changes channels.
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And Finally...
That is all from Maitengwe Weekend Trending Stories, where reality sometimes sounds stranger than fiction—and fiction occasionally gives up trying to compete.
Until next week...
Stay safe.
Stay informed.
Don't argue with a tikoloshe.
And if Zimbabwean politics confuses you...
Relax.
You're not alone.
Asante sana, and see you next weekend!