Maitengwe Weekend Trending Stories with Yours Truly: Two mothers, one son

By Desmond Nleya
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, taxpayers and those living on unexplained wealth — welcome to another edition of Maitengwe Weekend Trending Stories, where we connect the dots, join the commas and sometimes discover that the dots have already been connected by a private jet!
???? HARARE: TWO MOTHERS, ONE SON AND A WHOLE LOT OF DRAMA
We begin in Harare, where the battle of the mothers has entered Season 2, Episode 97, and frankly, Netflix is beginning to look underfunded.
On one side, we have a mother doing what any sensible mother would do — protecting her child from people she believes may be bad influences.
On the other side, well… there is another mother protecting her child so that the alleged gravy train can continue producing gravy.
And this is not ordinary gravy, my friends. We are talking about money that village accountants would look at and say: “Amai, this one needs a national budget committee.”
The State has brought fresh money-laundering charges against Kelsea Tafirenyika, the second wife of President Emmerson Mnangagwa’s son, Collins Mnangagwa.
Prosecutors allege that she used proceeds allegedly linked to drug dealing to acquire 19 properties and a fleet of luxury vehicles, with the assets identified in court documents valued at more than US$9.35 million.
Now, when I say luxury cars, I don't mean the Toyota Corolla that takes you to church on Sunday.
We are talking Lamborghinis, Bentleys, a Rolls-Royce, Jaguar and Land Rover, with the vehicles alone allegedly valued at about US$2.6 million.
The properties in Zimbabwe are valued at around US$6.745 million, while investigators are also looking at properties outside Zimbabwe, including in South Africa and Dubai.
At this point, even Google Maps must be asking:“Madam, exactly how many homes are we looking for?”
And the Elder says to the First Lady: well done, Ma'am.
Because whether one agrees with every detail of the case or not, protecting your children from alleged bad influences is something any parent would understand.
And perhaps this fight is bigger than Collins.
Perhaps it is also about young Zimbabweans being exposed to people who allegedly become influential not because of wisdom, hard work or a university degree — but because they arrive with enough money to make everybody else suddenly forget their surnames.
But, as usual, Yours Truly is only connecting the dots.
The courts will decide the allegations. Maitengwe only supplies the popcorn.
????️ FROM FIRST FAMILY DRAMA TO “HONOURABLE” TAGWIREI
Still in Harare, President Mnangagwa has appointed 10 Senators. And suddenly, comrades, we have entered a new grammatical era.
Yesterday it was Mr Tagwirei.
Today it is:
Senator Tagwirei.
Tomorrow?
Only the political winds know.
Naturally, social media immediately went into overtime. Some were discussing the appointment itself. Others were already discussing ZANU PF succession politics. And others simply wanted to know whether the new Senator had remembered to update his WhatsApp status.
But there was another name making noise — Brilliant Dube.
Only yesterday, the lady was reportedly fighting against the very constitutional amendment machinery that has now helped open the door to her appointment. Today? Surprise!
The same system comes knocking with a Senate seat, salary and the kind of government vehicle that makes pedestrians suddenly develop neck problems from staring.
Maitengwe says: politics is a strange animal.
Yesterday you can be fighting the system.
Today the system can be saying:
“Madam, please come inside. Your vehicle is waiting.”
And then Yours Truly was caught with JB, also known as Jabulani Sibanda.
Now, let me clarify before people start inventing stories.
The man worked for the party and, after years of service, perhaps retirement as a government employee is not such a bad reward.
Amhophe, Mr Chairman — we shared the same trenches in Masvingo back in 2013.
And look at that! Sometimes the seeds you plant in the trenches eventually grow into government offices.
The military taught us many things. One of them is patience.
???? KARIBA: WHEN THE CAMERAS LEAVE, THE PAIN REMAINS
Now we move to Kariba.
The politicians came.
The VIPs came.
The cameras came.
The speeches came.
And eventually, the cameras went back to Harare.
But Kariba remained.
And so did the grief.
The tragedy that claimed 97 lives and counting has left communities asking questions that no speech can answer. Was the ferry fit? Was there human error? Were proper safety procedures followed? Could something have been done differently?
These are questions for investigators. But for the families, there is one brutal fact that needs no investigation: They lost their loved ones.
And that is where statistics stop being statistics. Because when a family loses one person, you don't say: “It's one casualty.”
You say:
“We have lost our mother.”
“We have lost our father.”
“We have lost our child.”
And when that coffin is small… the pain is even bigger.
Government may give families financial assistance. Ten thousand dollars. A hundred thousand dollars. Even a million dollars. But no amount of money can bring a mother back to her children. No cheque can put a father back at the dinner table. No VIP visit can fill an empty chair.
Money can assist a funeral. It cannot resurrect the dead.
So while the politicians move on to the next event, Maitengwe says to the people of Kariba: We have not forgotten you.
???? BULAWAYO: SENSEI VS TTI — THE PARKING LOT KARATE KID
And finally, we sign off in Bulawayo, where one Sensei Tendai, also known as Tendai Maduwa, apparently decided that parking enforcement had entered the dojo.
A video emerged showing Sensei Tendai confronting two TTI parking marshals in Bulawayo CBD.
Now, according to his statement, Tendai says he was at Five Street near the NRZ building, with his car in drive and indicators flashing as he waited to enter a parking space.
Then suddenly:
KNOCK! KNOCK!
“Please don't drive. We have clamped your car.”
Tendai apparently looked at them like:
“My brother, have you just invented a new traffic law?”
He says he was told he was obstructing traffic.
He asked how.
And according to his account, the response was essentially:
“Mudhara, we don't care.”
That sentence alone deserves its own parliamentary debate.
Tendai says he questioned why a moving vehicle would be clamped while the driver was still trying to enter the parking space. He also accused the officers of demanding money.
Now, before the lawyers arrive from all corners of Bulawayo, let us make one thing clear:
Those are Tendai's allegations and account of what happened.
The good news?
The supervisors apparently arrived, apologised and said the matter would be dealt with internally. And Sensei Tendai did not stop there. He offered to provide the officers with free training sessions so they can improve their customer service.
Ladies and gentlemen…
Only in Bulawayo can you get clamped in the morning and end up offering your clamping officer free training by lunchtime.
That is Ubuntu.
That is Bulawayo.
That is:“I am angry with you, but let me educate you before I leave.”

✈️ AND BEFORE WE GO… CONNECT THE DOTS!
But wait!
Before Yours Truly disappears until next weekend, there is one more story.
And this one is still cooking. Very soon, one Mbinga will reportedly be in foreign territory.
Now, I am not saying anything.
I am simply connecting the dots.
Dubai.
Private jet.
Luxury lifestyle.
Money.
Properties.
Zimbabwe.
Now connect the dots yourself.
Because if I connect them for you, somebody will say Maitengwe is investigating instead of trending.
????????????
And with that, ladies and gentlemen, Yours Truly signs off.
Stay safe. Stay woke. Watch your parking. Watch your money. And above all, when you see a private jet — don't ask questions.
Just remember:
MAITENGWE HAS ALREADY CONNECTED THE DOTS!
See you next weekend.