Maitengwe Trending Stories: Whoever Wins-Wins

By Yours Truly
HARARE-There are statements that pass through the air like gentle wind, and there are those that arrive like a rogue donkey in a china shop. This past week, one such phrase allegedly attributed to the President decided to take the latter route: “Whoever wins, wins.”
Now, simple words, yes. Almost innocent. The kind of sentence you would expect in a village soccer match when nobody wants to argue about offside. But in political corridors, where even a cough is interpreted as policy direction, those four words reportedly landed with the weight of a falling mango on a tin roof- loud, unexpected, and impossible to ignore.
The remark is said to have followed a meeting with retired military generals who had marched into the discussion room carrying their concerns about the ever-contentious Constitutional Amendment Bill No. 3. One can only imagine the atmosphere: decorated silence, firm voices, and the kind of seriousness that makes even water refuse to boil.
The generals, having laid out their grievances with the precision of men who once understood national security in real time, allegedly received the now-famous response: “Whoever wins, wins.”
But of course, the Constitution is no dice game. It is not a raffle ticket at a church fundraiser, nor a guessing competition at a rural beer hall. It is the backbone of a nation, the document that decides whether citizens wake up protected or perplexed.
So when numbers started flying out of Parliament like confetti at a wedding, people naturally began to squint. According to the figures tabled, support for the Bill appears to have arrived in overwhelming waves. We are told 537,102 voices said “yes,” while a modest 2,935 whispered “no.” In written submissions, the imbalance grew even more dramatic, with 469,040 in favour and 1,077 politely disagreeing. Public hearings reportedly echoed a similar chorus, and even emails-hose modern carriers of democratic opinion-seemed to lean heavily in one direction.
At this point, even statistics themselves might have started asking whether they were in a consultation process or a choir rehearsal.
Naturally, eyebrows were raised higher than a giraffe at a horse race. Questions floated around about how the national conversation could sound so one-sided in a country where even two neighbours rarely agree on the same type of sadza thickness. Suspicions crept in like uninvited relatives at a funeral—quiet, but impossible to ignore.
For now, the Bill continues its journey through Parliament, watched closely by a nation that has mastered the art of observing serious matters with humorous disbelief. And as Yours Truly watches from the sidelines, one can only borrow the now-famous phrase and say: indeed, let us see who wins.
Meanwhile, as constitutional matters were busy flexing their muscles, Bulawayo High Court experienced its own unexpected visitor—a stray cat that reportedly entered a murder trial like it had been subpoenaed by fate itself.
During proceedings involving 19-year-old Bright Tshuma of Nkulumane, the courtroom atmosphere was already heavy enough to bend metal. Then, without warning, a brown feline reportedly strolled in, paused as though reviewing the case file in its mind, and proceeded to announce its presence with cries that disrupted even the most disciplined legal arguments.
Attempts to remove the unexpected legal observer proved unsuccessful. The cat, apparently unimpressed by human authority, allegedly took refuge under the judge’s bench as if it had discovered the safest seat in the house. Order had no choice but to temporarily adjourn itself.
Eventually, proceedings were moved to another courtroom-because in Zimbabwe, even justice sometimes needs a change of scenery. The trial later resumed, concluded, and resulted in a 20-year sentence. The cat, however, exited the story as mysteriously as it entered it, leaving behind only rumours, confusion, and a legacy that will likely outlive many legal textbooks.
From courtroom drama to youthful determination, attention then drifts to Kenya, where inspiration appears to be growing faster than weeds after rain. Young people are reportedly refusing to wait politely for the future and are instead building it with both hands.
One such example is Benjamin Odoyo, who established the Kagan Open Scout Troop at Kego Academy in Homa Bay County, Kenya. His mission is simple but powerful: to rescue young minds from the slow pull of drugs and destructive paths, and instead drag them-sometimes gently, sometimes firmly-towards discipline, leadership, and purpose.
He also speaks passionately about technology, insisting that digital skills should not be treated like luxury goods reserved for the lucky few in cities with reliable electricity. In his view, even rural youth deserve access to the digital world, so they can compete not as spectators of development, but as active participants in it.
Watching such efforts, one cannot help but glance back home and ask uncomfortable questions wrapped in polite silence: how far are we really going in empowering our own youth, and whether our programmes sometimes exist more in speeches than in soil.
Until next time, Yours Truly signs off -carefully watching both the political horizon and any suspicious cats near court buildings.
Asante.